Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
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We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
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Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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