Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I checked into jail on foursquare
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
