GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
