I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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