Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
