Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
