Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
