we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
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So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
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My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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