i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
