Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
