i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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