apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
