yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I can text with my tongue
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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