i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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