i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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