When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
