You're so nebulous sometimes
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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