Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
