the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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