Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
