We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
