I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
