Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
