but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
