1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
