You're so nebulous sometimes
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
