And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
