I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
