Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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