Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I would fuck him just for his dog
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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