dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
