I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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