definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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