She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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