ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I can tuck mytits in my pants
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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