I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize