I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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