the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
