Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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