google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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