Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
