Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
