The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
