it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Fuck appropriateness.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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