3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Green mimosas i think yes
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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