There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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