im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
There r osticjed everywhere
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
