Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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