Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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