I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
