Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
