Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
