Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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