my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
