I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize