i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
