I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
