In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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