In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
