the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
