I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
