Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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