Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
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He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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