I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The air was thick with penises
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
