how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
