What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
