You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The air was thick with penises
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
