Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
im having a threesome with these popsicles
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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